A long, long time ago, the elephant did not have his most beloved possession the trunk. All he had was a blackish bulging nose as big as a boot that he could wriggle about from side to side, but he couldn't pick up any things with it. Then one of the elephant herds had a baby, the elephant's child, who was so full of curiosity, and that means he asked ever so many questions from everyone he met.
The elephant child lived in Africa with his family, and he filled all Africa with his sociable curiosities. He asked this tall aunt, the Ostrich why her tail-feathers grew just so, and this tall Ostrich aunt spanked him with her hard, hard claw. He asked his tall uncle, the Giraffe, what made his skin spotty, and his tall uncle, the Giraffe, spanked him with his hard, hard hoof. And still, he was full of sociable curiosity. He asked his broad aunt the Hippopotamus, why her eyes were red, and his aunt, the Hippopotamus, spanked him with her broad, broad hoof. He asked his hairy uncle, the Baboon, why melons tasted just so. and hairy uncle, the Baboon, spanked him with his hairy, hairy paw, and still he was full of sociable, curiosity. Witty. He asked questions about everything that he saw or heard or felt or smelled or touched, and all his uncles and his aunts spanked him, and still, he was full of sociable curiosity.
One fine morning in the middle of the procession of the equinoxes, this sociable elephant's child asked a new delicate question that he had never asked before. He asked, "What does the crocodile have for dinner?". Then everybody said "hush" in a loud and dreadful tone, and they spanked him immediately and directly without stopping for a long time.
Then he came upon the Kala Kala bird sitting in the middle of a wait a bit thorn bush, and he said, My father has spanked me, my mother has spanked me, and all my aunts and uncles have spanked me for my sociable curiosity. And I still want to know what the Crocodile has for dinner. Then Kala Kala bird said with a mournful cry, Oh, go to the banks of the great grey, green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fewer trees and find out.
According to the president, that very next morning, there was nothing left of equinoxes because the procession had preceded. The sociable elephant's child, packed for his journey, 100 pounds of bananas, little red kind, 100 pounds of sugar cane, the long purple kind, and 17 melons, the greeny crackly kind. He then said to all his dear families, goodbye, I'm going to the great grey, green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fewer trees to find out what the Crocodile has for dinner. They all spanked him once more for luck, though he asked them most politely to stop. Then he went away a little warm, but not at all astonished, eating melons and throwing the rind about because he could not pick it up. He went east by north eating melons all the time till at last, he came to the banks of the great grey, green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fewer trees, precisely as Kala Kala bird had said. Now you must know and understand our best-beloved elephant's child, that till that very week and day and hour and minute, had never seen a crocodile and did not know what a crocodile was like, It was all his sociable curiosity.
The first thing that he found was a bi-coloured python rock snake curled around a rock excuse me, said the elephant child, in the most politely. But have you seen such a thing as a Crocodile in these promiscuous parts?. Have I seen a crocodile, so the bi-coloured Python rock snake in a voice of dreadful scorn? What will you ask me next? Excuse me, said the elephant child, but could you kindly tell me know what he has for dinner? The bi-coloured python-like snake uncoils himself very quickly from the rock and spanked the elephant child with his scale some tail. That is odd, said the elephant child, because my father, mother, uncle, and aunt, not to mention my other aunt, the Hippopotamus, and my other uncle, the Baboon, have all spanked me for my sociable curiosity. And I suppose this is the same thing. So he said goodbye very politely to the bi-coloured python rock snake and helped to coil him up on the rock again, and went on a little warm, but not at all astonished eating melons and throwing the rind about because he could not pick it up. Till he trod on what he thought was a log of wood at the very edge of the great grey, green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fewer trees, but it was the Crocodile our best beloved, and the Crocodile winked one eye. Excuse me, sir, said the elephant child, most politely, but do you happen to have seen a crocodile in these promiscuous parts? Then the Crocodile winked the other eye and lifted half his tail out of the mud and the elephant child stepped back most politely because he did not wish to get spanked again. Come here; the little one said the Crocodile. Why do you ask such things?
Excuse me, said the elephant child most politely, fearing to be spanked by the Crocodile for his curious question. Till now, my father has spanked me; my mother has spanked me: Not to mention my tall aunt, the Ostrich and my tall uncle the Giraffe who can kick ever so hard as well as my broad aunt the Hippopotamus, and my hairy uncle, the Baboon, and including the bi-coloured python rock snake with the scales and flail some tail just up the bank who spanks harder than any of them. And so if it's all quite the same with you, I don't want to be spanked anymore.
Come hither, little one, said the Crocodile, for I am the Crocodile. And he wept crocodile tears to show it was quite true. Then the elephant child grew all breathless and panted and kneeled on the bank and said, You are the very person I have been looking for all these long days. Will you please tell me, what do you have for dinner?
Come here, their little one said the Crocodile, and I'll whisper it in your ear. Then the elephant child put his head down close to the crocodiles, musky tusked mouth, and the Crocodile caught him by his little nose, which up to that very week they are and minute had been no bigger than a boot, though much more useful. I think, said the Crocodile, and he said it between his teeth like this. I think today I will begin with the elephant child. At this, the so best beloved the elephant's child was much annoyed, and he said, speaking through his nose like this, let go, you are hurting me. Then the bi-coloured python rock snake scuffled down from the bank and said, my young friend, if you do not now immediately and instantly pull as hard as ever you can. It is my opinion that your acquaintance in the large patent leather holster and by this meant, the Crocodile will jerk you into yonder limpid stream before you can say, Jack Robinson. Probably this is how all bi-coloured python rocks, snakes always talk. Then the elephant child set back on his little haunches and pulled and pulled and pulled and his nose began to stretch, and the Crocodile floundered into the water, making it all creamy with great sweeps of his tail. And he poured and pulled and pulled, and the elephant child's nose kept on stretching.
And the elephant child spread all his little four legs and pulled and pulled and pulled and his nose kept on stretching and the Crocodile thrashed his tail like an oar, and he pulled and pulled and pulled. And at each pull, the elephant child's nose grew longer and longer, which hurt him hideously. Then the elephant child felt his legs slipping and his head through his nose, which was now nearly five feet long. The Crocodiles strength is too much for me. Then the bi-coloured Python Rock Snake came down from the bank and knotted himself in a double clove hitch around the elephant child's hind legs and said, rash and inexperienced traveller, we will now seriously devote ourselves to a little high tension. Because if we do not, it is my impression that the under self-propelling oar with the armour-plated upper deck and by this our best beloved, he meant the Crocodile. Will permanently vitiate your future career. That is the way old bi-coloured python rock snakes always talk. So he pulled, and the elephant child pulled, and the Crocodile pulled, but the elephant child and the bi-coloured python rock snake pulled the hardest, and at last, the Crocodile let go of the elephant child's nose with a plop that you could hear all up and down the Limpopo.
Then the elephant child sat down most hard and sudden. But first, he was careful to say thank you to the bi-coloured python rock snake, and next, he was kind to his, poor pulled nose, and wrapped it all up in cool banana leaves and hung it in the great grey, green, greasy Limpopo to Cool. What are you doing that for, said the bi-coloured van rock snake. Excuse me, said the elephant child, but my nose is badly out of shape, and I'm waiting for it to shrink. Then you will have to wait a long time, said the bi-coloured Python rock snake. Some people do not know what is right for them. The elephant child sat there for three days waiting for his nose to shrink. But it never grew any shorter, and besides, it made him squint. You will see and understand that the Crocodile had pulled it out into a true trunk for All Best Beloved, same as all elephants have today.
At the end of a third day, a fly came and stung him on the shoulder, and before he knew what he was doing, he lifted his trunk and hit that fly dead with the end of his trunk. Vantage, no one said the bi-coloured python rock snake. You couldn't have done that with a mere smear nose. Try and eat a little now before he thought what he was doing, the elephant child put out his trunk and plucked a large bundle of grass, dusted it clean against his four legs and stuffed it into his mouth. Vantage number two said the bi-coloured python rock snake; you couldn't have done that with a mere smear nose. Don't you think the sun is scorching here? It is said the elephant child, and before he thought what he was doing, he schooled up a scope of mud from the banks of the great grey, green, greasy Limpopo and slapped it on his head, which had made a cool, sloppy, slushy mud cap, all trickily behind his ears. Vintage number three said the bi-coloured Python Rock snake; you couldn't have done that with a mere smear nose. Now, how do you feel about being spanked again? Excuse me, said the elephant child, but I should not like it at all. How would you like to spank somebody, so the bi-coloured python rock snake asked? I should like it very much, indeed, said the elephant child. Well said the bi-coloured python rock snake; you will find that new nose of yours very useful to spank people with. Thank you, said the elephant child. I'll remember that. And now I think I'll go home to all my dear families and try.
So the elephant child went home across Africa, frisking and whisking his trunk when he wanted fruit to eat, he pulled fruit down from a tree instead of waiting for it to fall, as he used to do. When he wanted grass, he plucked grass up from the ground instead of going on his knees, as he used to do when the flies beat him, he broke off the branch of a tree and used it as a fly whisk. And he made himself a new cool, slushy, squishy mud cap. Whenever the sun was hot when he felt lonely walking through Africa, he sang to himself down his trunk, and the noise was louder than several brass bands. He went especially out of his way to find a broad hippopotamus. She was no relation of his, and he spanked her very hard to make sure that the bi-coloured python rock snake had spoken the truth about his new trunk. The rest of the time, he picked up the melon rinds that he had dropped on his way to the Limpopo, for he was a tidy pachyderm.
One dark evening, he came back to all his dear families, and he called up his trunk and said, How do you do? And they were delighted to see him and immediately said, come here and be spanked for your sociable curiosity. They said to the elephant child, I don't think you know anything about spanking, but I do. And I'll show you. Then he uncurled his trunk and knocked two of his dear brothers head over heels. Oh, bananas, they said. Where did you learn that trick and what have you done to your nose? I got a new one from the Crocodile on the great grey, green, greasy Limpopo River banks, said the elephant child. I asked him what he had for dinner, and he gave me this to keep. It looks repulsive, said his hairy uncle, the Baboon, and does so the elephant child, but it's very useful, and he picked up his hairy uncle, the Baboon, by one hairy leg and hove him into a hornet's nest. Then that bad elephant child spanked all his dear families for a long time till they were very warm and greatly astonished, he pulled out his tall Ostrich and tail feathers, and, he caught his tall uncle, the Giraffe, by the hind leg and dragged him through a thorn bush. He blew bubbles in her ear of his aunt, the Hippopotamus when she was sleeping in the water after meals. But he never let anyone touch Kolo Kolo Bird. At last, things grew so exciting that his dear families went off one by one in a hurry to the banks of the great grey, green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fewer trees to borrow new noses from the Crocodile. When they came back, nobody spanked anybody anymore.
Originally written by Rudyard Kipling, re- nattered by Yap Cafe.
