"I'd be despondent if you go down to play now, jack," Said Peter to his seven-year-old son, "I think you should first finish your homework".
A few minutes later, I saw Jack walking out of his building and moving to the central park. At the same time, I did not look at his balcony; nevertheless, somehow, I had that uncanny feeling that Peter was more irritated than disappointed.
My mind was reeling with thoughts, "would I have done that to my dad, or would Peter have done that?" I have known Peter for a reasonably long time now, we have been neighbours for years now.
The event left me with a sticky unpalatable taste, irritated. Remunerating, I contemplated, maybe if this situation had occurred a generation back, Jack would have tried to negotiate. In a similar case, an era before ours, Jack would have just obeyed what Peter would have said.
So what's changed in these two generations? A lot, I guess, "as you sow, so shall you reap". To me, the human value system has been compromised, and where it has not been, it's got infected from the infected ones.
Actually, humans are programable, and this one, my friend, is noting but Garbage in, Garbage out (GIGO) theory.
But what's the Garbage that we have created in the last two generations? The answer is "None", None at all? The fact is that we have done "Nothing" in ensuring that our value system is cascaded the way it should have been or has been. In my opinion, we have been counterproductive. We have made little or no effort in handing over the age-old Value System to our kin. The values of respect, love, kindness, hurt, empathy, sacrifice, and others, usually cascaded through fables. These Fables ingrains values in kids if they are cascaded with the intent and the needed emotions.
We have, on the contrary, used these age-old jewels as mere entertainment, converting them into two-dimensional pixelated coloured cartoons. The kids helplessly ween on this musical kaleidoscope as support to accomplish their daily chores. Successful in satisfying the child's need for attention, the caretakers resort to either their shots of dopamine through a socially interactive application on their handheld devices., while others might be involved in financially benefiting activities.
A verbal recitation of a story is not an indication that the kid has sufficiently understood the message and decoded the Value attached. To me, most parents have no clue that cascading of values is essential.
Parents don't understand that Kids observe and learn. It's the "Ape Theory". These little geniuses are the most sophisticated human behaviour and emotion scanners that you can imagine. They notice every aspect of your communication, the tone, action, facial expression, and probably the entire chemistry of the person they are scanning. They subconsciously pick up these complex emotions even when they are not being addressed, such as when husband and wife talk or behave with each other.
They learn it all and tag it to their emotional memory to be used later. It's just that they have the new format with them now, and unfortunately, the wrong one.
Humans in this generation are at the crossroads of many events like private jobs are a relatively new phenomenon hardly two-generation old concept, and everyone needs the best one out there, The dynamics of relationships are changing with the fabric of the family structure and responsibilities. Managing change is not easy and we have more self-centred negative emotional connotations making rounds.
Some Social Media posts preaching the new age mantra
- It would help if you were selfish.
- To gain respect, you should seem buys.
- Your happiness is paramount.
- No one is bothered if you are happy or not.
- The ones you love shall harm you the most.
- Others failure is your sucess.
- You are not a thief until someone catches you.
- If you have something good, hide it, don't share it.
The list of this new-age preaching is long and contrary to what previous generations believed as values. Voluntarily or involuntarily, everyone seems to be preaching these, and subconsciously in your communications, you are either subscribing to them or are not; however, the mention doesn't go unnoticed. Your child is observing and absorbing each and every aspect of your actions, both verbal and nonverbal. The nonverbal absorption overshadows the verbal ones many times. When he grows up, we see relationship issues, disagreements, aggression, and others. Don't be surprised your kid is only practising what has been preached to him.
To my mind, this is not how learning of things or value cascade happens.
From prehistoric times learning has always been a sharing activity. The narrator enacts the event and concludes it with essential learnings, such as a sbberthoother survivor may dance around the fire, sharing in detail the event, till everyone learns that a smelly swamp is a haven from a sbberthoother attack.
Till the 16th century, each region had their storytelling style — Vyasa in India, a troubadour in Persia, the Arabian Nights in the Middle East, and Meddah in Turkey.
All these storytelling individuals played in front of a small group of viewers, narrating a tale passionately. The individuals in such cases played different characters skilled at manipulating their voices and imitating different dialects. Using props such as an umbrella, a handkerchief, or various headwear signals a character change. The attention to the moral in the story was paramount. This one-person theatre delivered a strong message and Value.
This grew to a more extensive level later called the theatre, which also had its curtains come down at the beginning of the twentieth century.
The emotional tagging was now was done by the elders of the family, such as the grandparents. They ensured that the values were passed more than the content until the younger nuclear families came into being.
In this fast-paced competitive life, adults perplexed at the hands of what they understand as success react strangely. Deprived of emotional, social and psychological understanding, most populations land up never to blame themselves for anything they do or say. Impacting their relationship, and are tagged as sociopaths, narcissists and toxic people.
We need to be more innovative in rebuilding the fabric of life for the generations to come.
Ways to deliver the emotional essence and a robust value system.
Deliver content that evokes these sentiments. This can only be done by unlearning, learning and reinventing ourselves to pick up the value strings before losing traces of them altogether.
